After the holidays season I came back home tired, tanned and, as it seemed to me, satisfied. After returning from mountains, on flat terrain I ran like a small car. The way back from Krościenko also had its charm. You can imagine, when the term of the great Oasis ‘New Jerusalem’ ends and in one day Pogórze Sudeckie leave a few thousand of participants of all constituent formations and groups at the same time. – The first effect: The town is short of bread, then bakers triumph! Multiplied takings. Similarly public transport adjusts to a new situation, on one condition, that travellers are not on purpose increasing this crisis caused, let’s say, by temporary ‘demographic explosion’. Nowadays maybe some ‘Anti-crisis staff’ would be created. It is also a way! (– The point is that the end of the term is not a crisis, like let’s say ‘harvest disaster’ – I do not know who invented such a scoff. I only advise to remember a story of Josef from the Bible, who was a vice-regent of Pharaoh. He used abundant harvest in good years to save many people from starvation in time of famine. Look: Genesis, chapter 41-47)
I remember when we were walking with priest Jacek and other ‘the Oasis’ people from our diocese along Kościuszki Street in Krościenko to Kopia Gorka and at the foot of the mountain stood two big lorries (white lorries from Holland, if I am right). I joked, indicating at one of the lorries standing on the high shoulder: ‘ By this lorry we will come back to Krakow!’ Everybody was laughing. Just in case, in the evening priest Jacek asked the driver if he was going to go in that direction and if he could take us. When he had got confirmation he asked us ‘to be ready’. We were travelling in ‘the room’ behind the driver’s cabin. (we were communicating with gestures and a little bit in English). The driver offered us peanuts and chocolate. He was very glad when the priest gave him a cassette with songs of worship. At about twelve o’clock at night, not asking anybody for directions, he dropped us at the railway station in Krakow, we said good-bye like old friends, and (without any crowds) everyone went its own way.[1]( I do not know, if this will be an appropriate analogy, but I felt like the courtier, who ‘went on his way rejoicing’ Comp. Acts 8,39.)
The return to work had similar effect to ‘smelling-salts’ on me. It does not mean that I lead some ‘double life’ – ordinary and festive, or even worse: in reality and in dreams. Maybe... I learned that psychological comfort consists, in a small part, of suffering. I start to understand what Leszek Kołakowski ment talking about ‘constitutional indigence of temporality’ and that ‘the absolute in mundane sphere is impossible to achieve’. – Still, ‘what was impossible for people, God accomplished’... The tough reality of Trade School is like a field of ripped crop, a sport stadium and firing ground in one. Without a good school there are no well educated people – it sounds like a slogan, maybe it is better and more cautious to say: Like a proverb! – A vicious circle – after all the teacher himself must be (well) brought up. In the‘Light- Life Movement’ work within the same age group in compulsory. We just had a meeting in such a group. Apart from evangelical conversations in the Small Group, we were practising (from time to time) evangelical revision of life. (– This is some godly exercise in a small group. Even more godly exercise, and even smaller, is probably the sacrament of confession. – ‘This should be done and that should not be omitted!’ – Advisers keep saying.) I must be a lucky blighter, because I became friends with a Verbist Missionary from Africa. It is not a coincidence. He had time for conversation and coffee, considering circumstances. And like a real missionary he was very generous and ready to help. He told me about dramatical extermination of his Mission among the tribes of Konkomba during tribal war.
(He suffered more than the father of ‘plague-stricken’, because hate is maybe even worse than the plague!) I told him about my meeting with Ahmed on the train on my way to Krakow. Subconsciously I hoped that he would help me to solve that problem.
The beginning of a school year in a school library, where students borrow all course-books has got, as it usually happens, its own ‘splendours and miseries’. (– Apart from rather symbolic payments for student practice for ‘young workers’, the free course-books and uniforms were a type of ‘social’ benefits.) It is a good ‘habit’... In statistics the course-books are included in, so called, ‘the average of reading’. It is not a mistake, in order to use well the compulsory course-books it is necessary to know how to read (at least on a basic level). In order to read ‘set books’ not only good encouragement is needed, but also good habits, and such problems have not only the ‘young workers’ from ‘trade school’, who have not ‘succeeded’ somewhere else. Such difficulties have, as far as I know, also people with higher education: with titles, diplomas and jobs, who in everyday rush do not have the time to ‘sit’, but reading ‘needs’ just that. ‘Set books on video’ and so called ‘audio books’ are the next invention ‘masking’ low reading levels. It is a great luxury that in some professions we can get more education while working. These and similar thoughts come to my head, when the noise of break time dies out. Also a problem from before holidays comes back. At the end of school year I first finished up with returning books (e.i. collecting them from students) the course-books, obligatory cards and the year statistics. Now I have to do one more check of ‘the structure of the library’. In a ‘ministerial’ Polish Language programme the Bible was included in a syllabus of basic set books. Before the summer holidays I seriously thought of buying a hundred of Bibles. (– According to the library rules one book should be shared by three students. I knew I would be short of money. It might seem suspicious for the headmaster that I want to buy so many copies of the Bible –Is this supposed to be a new place for ‘the Great Oasis’?! – And, who knows...)
At the end, I was ready to proceed with the purchase without agreement or knowledge of the headmaster. The ‘ministerial ‘ programme neither can be negotiated, or be a dummy of something else! I thought I was right. So I simply asked: ‘God, where can I take the money from? I did not even notice how fast God answered, giving me one hundred dollars for that purpose, exactly the amount needed at that time. I feel uneasy that only now I have understood Ahmed's gesture on the train. After all, He was saying ‘I am giving from God!’ – maybe he wanted to do God’s will, and I did not let him. I do not know if I did the right thing, but remembering that the witnesses of my conversation were my son’s friends, I think to myself: it is better they say I did not accept the hundred dollars from a ‘tipsy’ stranger, than they announce that I took advantage of not only the situation, but also of the man... I comforted myself that way. On the other hand, I discovered in ‘reading’ from Polish language, consistent with the programme, four texts from the Bible. About the Flood and the Noah’s Arc, Hiob, the Good Samaritan and about the Good Sheppard. Then I was almost in peace...
I wondered what my friend Father Ryszard Missionary SVD would say about it? At the next occasion I went for a coffee and an important conversation. After a while the matter little bit ‘cooled down’, and we could, without emotions, rationally, think over details. Father Ryszard approached the matter with his usual sincerity and simplicity: ‘ You do not know African pride!’ – He said – ‘you simply humiliated him, and maybe even a bit, unintentionally i.e. without awareness, offended him.’ – Even though up to now I have not considered my reasons of refusing the money as selfish, as time goes by, I am getting some doubts... Firstly, no one is better in the eyes of God – that man could do God’s will! Secondly I asked God a question: where do I have to take the money for Bibles from? And I did not hear the answer ( – probably being afraid of the opinion of the young, immature people from ‘the gang’ about me. Thirdly, wanting to be seen as ‘a man of integrity’ in Ahmed’s eyes, maybe, looking from his point of view, I subconsciously behaved as if from ‘the position of superiority’... My discomfort grew like yeast. – In order to feel better I said conciliatorily: ‘If I had his address I would explain to him that I am not a racist, and I would wish him Merry Christmas’.
About half a year after my holidays’ journey to Krościenko, that time, I was returning from the south of Poland: from Racibórz to the north-east – if I remember well – it could be a train from Zakopane via Krakow and Warsaw to Gdynia. – I am not sure whether I got on in Racibórz or Rybnik, but in Katowice the crowd was quite ‘seasonal’. – Christmas, the season of winter vacations and skiing. In the nearest future I had in front of me the whole night on the train. With great difficulty I was pushing my way through a narrow corridor between compartments, passing sleeping passengers and their sumptuous luggage. I could not even imagine that I would travel on the corridor (– those years had passed when I used to stand over bumpers, in the link area between carriages!). I slipped my head into a compartment and carefully inspected if there was any free place. I was about to retreat, when I heard: ‘There are no free seats!’ I came back, looked into the direction where the female voice came from, and what did I see? – One lady was stretching on two seats; my informant female was sitting next to her. – She became embarrassed and said: ‘I’m sorry, but I wanted to cheat you so my friend could sleep a little’. I smiled and joked: ‘Since I’ve travelled on duty I have a sitting place!’ I sat down. In my lapel I had a little silver ‘dove’. – ‘Holy Spirit?’ – She asked. – Hi! I’m Ivona from Pentacostal Church’. She introduced herself. – She also said that she taught Polish in Łódź, at school for foreigners studying in Poland. I asked her about Ahmed. (She was sure she taught also Ahmadu), what’s more, she confirmed all known to me details and gave me her and his valid address. Thank the Lord! Oh! How God is Great!
Translated by Barbara Vujcic
[1] „The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and for evermore” Psalm 121, 8 (Translation after: Holly Bible, the Gideons). This is a great reason for joy on every way.
Brak komentarzy:
Prześlij komentarz